From: x_brockj@vultur.emcmt.edu TALKING BEAR MOUNTAIN PICNIC MASSACRE BLUES (Moderately Bright) (spoken) (G)I saw it advertised (C)one day, (D)Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way, (G)"Come along 'n take (C)a trip, (D)We'll bring you up (G)there on a ship, Bring the wife and (C)kids, Bring the (D)whole family". Yippee! (G) (C) (D) (G) Well I run right down and bought a ticket To this thing called the Bear Mountain Picnic Little did I realize I was in for a pleasant funny surprise It had nothin to do with picnics Didnt come clse to a mountain I hate bears Took the wife and kids down to the pier There was six thousand people there Everybody had a ticket for the trip Oh Well I said, is a pretty big ship Besides, anyhow, the more the merrier Well, we all got on, and what do you think? That big old boat started to sink More peole kept a-pilin on That old ship was a-goin down Funny way to start a picnic Well, I soon lost track of my kids n wife So may people I never saw in my life That old ship was sinkin down in the water There was six thousand people tryin to kill each other Dogs a-barkin, cats a-screamin women a-yellin men a-flyin, fists a-flyin, paper flyin cops a-comin, me a-runnin Maybe we better just call off the picnic I got shoved down, got pushed around All I remember was a moanin sound Dont remember one thing more All I remember is wakin up on the shore My arms n legs were broken My feet were splintered, my head was cracked I couldnt walk, couldnt talk, smell, feel, couldnt see I didnt know wher I was, I was bald But lucky to be alive though Well, feelin like I just stepped out of my casket I grabbed back hold of my picnic basket Took my wife n kids n started home Wishin I never got up that mornin Now, I dont care just what you do If you want to have a picnic, thats up to you But dont tell me about it, I dont wanna hear it You see, I just lost all my picnic spirit Stay in my kitchen Have a picnic in my bathroom Well, it dont seem to me quite so funny What some people are going to do for money Theres a brand new gimmick every day Just to take somebodys money away I think we ought to take some of these people Put em in a boat, send em up to Bear Mountain for a picnic